Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Homework and Freedom


Its Tuesday night and I spent very little time on my homework this past weekend. I was busy working on my writing and revamping this site. I'm really happy with the way it turned out, especially the photography. My favorite pic is the one on a Preview of Mikey. Doesn't it just scream FREEDOM! I love it.

Freedom. That is what this page is about. Well, not really, but in a weird way it is. I have always loved to write. Most of what I wrote in my younger years was lost along the way. It was either thrown away, packed away, lost in a computer crash, or just simply misplaced. I've never shared any of it with anyone because of my fear. The fear of being judged for the thoughts in my head. Really...when you think of Stephen King... do you not think he has a very warped mind? You have to be seriously warped to write some of the things he writes. His books scare the daylights out of me.

It would be impossible for a writer to not leave a part of himself on each written page, just as a painter puts his soul into his art. You may see it as colors on a canvas, but the artist sees it as part of himself, the good and the bad. Writers are the same way. Our own ideas, experiences, and philosophies come out as we write. Its like sharing part of your inner self. We influence our characters no matter how hard we force them to be their own people.

So, my fear is that people who read what I write may think I am warped like Stephen King. (I'm not that kind of warped, but you get the idea.) And what if someone I know recognizes a quality that closely fits their own? Readers don't go looking for hints of themselves, but often times they do identify with a character. Will they think I wrote about them? Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

Is my fear unusual? I honestly have no idea. But it is mine to deal with as I spend more time writing. Maybe I will know when I have achieved my goal, conquered my fear, and reached freedom, when someone tells me I am truly warped!

As for my homework, I really need to get back to it. I have some database labs to work on. Just your typical IT geek stuff. And some research to do on the new "low emission" coal for my environmental science class. Its all very interesting.

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Full time Mom, General Manager in the Electronics Industry, Information Systems Geekette, and coffee addict. Part time Photographer and writer. I am just me every day.